Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Discipline of Silence

Whenever I am in a group, I have this dream: I will be the quiet, seeming-wise one, waiting for others to ask what I have to say. I will speak only when prompted by the Holy Spirit, only when it is really necessary. I will leave the group at the end of the time and all will wonder who that silent woman was.

I'll be really honest here. The last time that happened was at a friend's birthday party in Junior High. And I was only silent because I spent the party alone in a corner with no one wanting to talk to me. Not exactly the silence that attracts. No, all too often, I open my big mouth and blurt out whatever comes to mind. Thankful again for grace, God will sometimes use it for his purpose, but more often I wound, embarrass, annoy. Nowhere is this more true than with my husband. I usually feel like I'm justified in whatever it is that I have to say, but, oh, to be quiet and just wait for the Holy Spirit!

Last night I got a small taste of what that feels like. I had a perfect opportunity to "lay into" my sweet husband. He was most certainly in the wrong and I was, and still am, concerned about the consequences of his actions. But the Lord stepped in. He literally stopped my mouth. I was able to ask Rob for a moment alone to pray and journal and then continue the conversation. I'll admit that I had all sorts of choice words and self-righteous thoughts to share. Some of them even deserved saying. I found that I had no desire to say them though. They came to mind, but not to mouth. I am so grateful. My silence meant that I was able to listen, to work out, to love. All is mended, which might not be true if I had not chosen to be silent first.

A taste then, of self-(or God-) imposed silence. What a Lenten treat!
holy experience

1 comment:

  1. How wise to take time to pray and journal in the heat of such a conversation! Praising God with you for the fruit that will come from it.



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